Saturday, January 14, 2012

Helplessness

     One thing that saddens me but also really grosses me out is how low some humans will stoop to while homeless. As a lot may know, I'm incredibly germophobic. I will not drink out of the same cup that someone else drank out of, nor will I eat from something they ate. As soon as I shake hands with someone I feel the need to wash my hands as soon as possible, or at least before I eat using them. And mind you, this is with anybody. Obviously not just homeless people.
     So when I see someone covered in who knows what (probably dirt and poo), digging through trash on the sidewalk, drinking from any cup with the slightest drops of liquid, it saddens me. How can a human being stoop to such low levels? First of all, I have learned that in Hollywood there is no reason for a person to not get food and drink for free if they need it. Many places like my work for instance can help people from going hungry and thirsty.
     Over the years I have learned that I am one of the only guys who actually washes their hands after going to the bathroom (Washing them with soap that is. After all, just using water is pointless if you think about it). And I have learned to accept that. I haven't died yet, even though I still find it gross. It's a lot harder though to feel comfortable around people that smell like piss and are covered in dirt. When I'm around it, it just depresses me. If a person is that uncaring about their self appearance, are they ever going to make the effort to get better when I try to help them?
     Another thing that makes me sad are people with mental and drug problems. How are THEY ever going to get off the streets and get a job and shelter? Sometimes I just get so overwhelmed and just want to give up trying to help them. But I know I shouldn't. I just  need to keep trying and never give up on them.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Nate, I read you blog and it's good to know what you think of your work, environment and belief system. It's ok to question things and find out what truth is and process that on your own. Everyone of us has to think for ourselves in the level that we are in and grow from there.
    You have come a long way from beautiful, quiet, predictable community of Lancaster to the metropolis and to top it off, work with homeless people. I would be depressed myself working with people with mental illness and people with drug problem. I want to fix them and get it over with and send them on their way to live a successful life. Not so with homeless people, it's like a circle that goes nowhere. Bless you for what you are doing and for washing your hands after you shake hands with people etc. I do the same, Working with sterile environment in the past makes me paranoid about shaking hands with people. It's ok. It's healthy.
    Don't give up. You are in the right place at the moment. Time will come that you will be in in a different situation. A much better environment.
    I pray for you regularly.

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  2. The question I'm wanting to ask, though, is do you think this same person you've seen smelling like that was always like that? What's the level of brokenness they've hit? Why is it so hopeless for them? What's the point in staying clean if you have nothing to be clean for?

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  3. I think my germophobia wrote this blog. Not so much me.

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