Saturday, July 6, 2013

"You are so quiet, Nathan."

     So I don't talk much. People know me as a very quiet person. I'm surprised I haven't thought of to write a blog about it until now. This is a big part of my life. I am defined by it. I am going to try to share some of my thoughts on it for you.
     Here's something you probably shouldn't do: tell someone they are quiet. Chances are they already know that about themselves. People tell me that all the time. When someone reminds me that I am quiet I feel more pressured to talk more but then it just feels forced. It's like you are giving me an order and I'm just doing it because you told me to and it doesn't feel as natural. I realize that most of the time you are doing it to try and break the ice and you usually say it in a kind and almost joking way. It's like you say it in a way to try to let me know that I don't have to feel nervous around you. But still... it never feels good to know that people are noticing that I am quiet.
     I can't really pin down the reasons for why I am quiet. Sometimes I think that it's just that I like to observe other's talking more and I get so caught up in watching life's movie that I forget that I am part of it too. Other times I think that it's because I'm afraid that the words that come out of my mouth are going to sound dumb, which they often do but maybe that's just because I don't practice talking enough. It's probably a bit of both. I like to observe but there's also some fear of interacting.
     I think most people would agree that not everybody should be extroverts and that the world needs a balance of all types of people. I think though that most people would say that I am too introverted. I don't know. It's come to the point where I constantly feel pressured to talk and I don't like it. It used to be that I knew I was quiet but wasn't constantly worried if people were judging me for it. I want to be quiet and not worry that people are judging me for being quiet.
     My friends and family who have gotten to know me well know that it is possible for me to break out of my shell. I love to laugh and have fun. A lot of people know me as a very sarcastic person. I love teasing people and playing pranks. It can take a while for me to get to this point with people though. I'm pretty humble but I really do believe that I am like able once you get to know me. But I think people tend to assume the worst until they do know me. I've been told by people that I eventually became friends with that when they didn't know me they thought I was an asshole. I think a lot of people might think that the reason I don't talk is because I don't think they are worthy of being talked to and that I am judgmental. That couldn't be farther from the case. So if you are someone who doesn't know me well I hope this blog post helped you see where I'm coming from. Not to put all the work on you but if you want to get to know me just talk to me as much as possible. Ask me questions. There's not much you can say or do to make me not like you... Even if you are a republican.

1 comment:

  1. Nathan,
    I get it! It seems that the world is so full of extroverts (75%). I usually prefer talking one-to-one with people rather than in a group especially is it's a group of extroverted women. I feel invisible in those settings but I get energized through a meaningful conversation with one person. I still struggle to accept the fact that God created me an introvert. Through the years I've been able to develop the art of conversation. Yes, there are times when I don't even feel like talking but I need to force my self to interact and it's usually worth the effort. Thanks for honestly sharing your feelings. I think we introverts can often do that much better through writing. Keep on writing and using your gifts.
    Cheryl Cassel