Wednesday, September 16, 2015

The Grass Is Not Greener

     On occasion the co-workers I've had in the past knew me for asking random, deep philosophical questions. I love to hear different people's perspectives on things. My go to question has often been "What is the meaning of life?" There was one day though at my job in Pennsylvania where I thought of the question "What is your best possible advice you could give to someone?" And I got an answer that has stuck with me despite having heard it many times before: The grass is not greener on the other side.
     How true. Since high school I have lived in several states and worked many jobs. I regret none of those experiences but am learning that no matter where I go, no matter what I do, my happiness levels stay about the same. I still have my dreams and passions but there are always going to be certain aspects of a career or home that are not so pleasant. I thought moving here to Austin I might find more happiness but that is not necessarily the case... But in a way I'm glad I did it. Sometimes I imagine telling my grandchildren all my stories of traveling and places I've lived and that's comforting to me. The stories I live are the one thing that make it seem like it was worth it, even if I wasn't the happiest at the time.
     I think the grass is not greener also applies to relationships. Our culture ingrains in us that we must do whatever we can to be as happy as possible... If our significant other doesn't bring us as much happiness anymore, we should find someone else. Or we just tell ourselves that we might be happier with someone else. I don't believe there are such things as perfect relationships or soul mates though. We have to learn to be content with who we are with because if you find someone else, years down the line you will probably get the same feeling and want to try out someone new. Some people understand this concept. The other 50% of married couples don't. There have been studies done that show how people in arranged marriages end up being happier couples in the long run because they are forced to love each other and grow together. Sometimes I wish we could go back to that system.
     So I don't know where this leaves me. One of my favorite jobs was working a low wage, food service job at Kitchen Kettle Village in Pennsylvania. Maybe I just need to be content working a job like that instead of imagining what life would be like as a Writer, or Psychologist, or Actor because The Grass Is Not Greener.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

First Thing's First

     A couple years ago I wrote a blog about my new life as a vegan and how I thought veganism and vegetarianism are what's best for the world. I would say my opinion on that hasn't changed. Not only because a meatless lifestyle is healthier for our bodies but also to eliminate as much death and suffering in the world as possible. First thing's first though, I have come to realize that it's obvious the general population see's human life as more important than the life of other species... And yet we still are killing each other! How can I ask people to stop killing animals if they still think it's okay to sometimes kill other humans?
     Gandhi once said "The greatness of a nation can be judged by the way its animals are treated." He believed that as long as we kill animals we will never learn to stop killing each other. I actually believe the opposite is true. As long as we continue to kill each other we will never learn to stop killing animals because we put human life above animal life. So how can I convince you to stop believing that killing people is wrong?
     Most of us (humans) justify violence by using words like "Self-defense" and "Fighting for our freedom." We should know by now though that violence does not solve much, it may seem like it in certain cases but I believe there are better ways to solve our problems. Fire can not be fought with fire. Christians know that Jesus said to turn the other cheek and to love your enemies but I do not see those words being practiced very often.
     I don't have all the answers to fix the worlds problems but I believe that more peaceful protesting could go a long way, and just showing kindness to our enemies in general. I know terror groups like ISIS seem like a lost cause and that violence is the only way to stop them but we haven't really tried anything else. We glorify soldiers who risk their lives to fight the bad guys but I think it would be even more heroic if someone risked their life by trying to peacefully deal with the problem.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Accepting Yourself AND Others

     We have to learn to love ourselves. We have to acknowledge that the things that make us unique are good and not weird. I struggle with this. I also struggle with accepting others for who they are too. I'm pretty sure this is something our society as a whole could do better at.
     When I was younger I had this unique obsession with stadiums. To this day I'm still not sure why. I don't know, something about seeing what thousands of people look like all in the same place fascinates me. In my free time I would go on and see how many people each stadium seated and where the stadium was located. Seeing the different types of architecture was intriguing.
     But I was always
kind of ashamed of my interest in stadiums and didn't tell many people about it. Those I did tell didn't do a great job letting me know that it was okay to be interested in such a random thing, rolling their eyes whenever I talked about stadiums, or just flat out telling me it's weird. Thinking about it today though I'm not sure why random interests like this are such bad things. It's okay to have hobbies and fascinations.
     To be honest though I can be judgmental of other people's interests too. I'm a flawed human. I'm working on getting better though. I currently park cars for a living as a valet. The other day my coworkers were obsessing over a fancy car somebody left us to park, a Rolls Royce. This led into them discussing different engine types and whatnot. Things that I have little to no interest in. I never understood the fascination in cars. I've always said that if a car gets me from point A to point B that's all that really matters to me. But I had to stop myself and remember not to judge my coworker's interest in cars. You could argue that being interested in material things such as fancy cars that aren't really benefitting our society is unhealthy but we all do this and it's best just not to judge sometimes. Another example of people's interests that I've unfairly judged before is sports. Just because I'm not into it doesn't mean others can't be. I think and hope that admitting my flaws is a good reminder for me and will help me grow as a person.
     I encourage you to love who you are and your unique obsessions. Maybe you already have and that's good. Be comfortable in your own skin and don't worry what others think of you. There is a video going around of a guy who lost over 200 pounds and what his excess skin looks like. He was very nervous to post the video because he is self-conscious about his body but he wants people to accept themselves for who they are, and I think that applies to both the physical and mental.

Friday, February 6, 2015

The Problem With Self-Defense

     The world in which we live is a very violent place. Nations spend more money on militarization than anything. At a smaller scale we know not to go down dark alleys by ourselves, we lock our doors, and sometimes we take extra precaution and purchase weapons and take self-defense courses to protect ourselves in case of an emergency. We are profoundly aware of the dangers a fellow human being is capable of. I have come to believe that precautions like self-defense is not the best way to be handling this matter.
     First of all self-defense does not fix the overall problem. It is only a temporary solution to your personal safety. To make this more relatable when I refer to self-defense I am talking about it on a smaller scale... Like how one would respond if their house was being broken into. Let's try to figure out how to stop people from committing crimes against another person in the first place. It's easier though to focus on how to protect ourselves when it does happen instead of fixing the overall problem. This is the main issue here I think.
     Something we need to consider is human psychology. The cliche argument against gun control is that we have a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem. Even though I'm pretty liberal I actually completely agree with that... On a side note though I really wish guns were never invented. Not to mention all the statistics show it is much more likely of an accident happening with your gun than you ever having to use it. Our brain is an organ that needs taken care of. People who do bad things can't just be looked at as monsters who can never change. There needs to be forgiveness and compassion. This may sound like we should just let people walk all over us but I really believe that if people showed more sympathy towards a criminal that there would be less crimes committed. Have you ever done something bad and then the person you caused harm to forgave you? That's such a powerful feeling. Your eyes are opened to the terrible thing you did and they showed you grace? How can this be? It makes you want to change and be a better person. Forgiveness is such a powerful weapon against injustice.
     One of the more obvious problems that isn't helping our obsession with justifying violence is what we view on television, in the movies, and the video games we play. I'll admit that I am being a little hypocritical when it comes to this though. I enjoy an action movie just as much as the next person. I am a frequent player of Grand Theft Auto. Probably doesn't help my argument that I just admitted that but I think the affects these forms of entertainment have on a person vary depending on the person. I was raised a pacifist which I carried into my secular thinking. Since I am blessed with this alternative way of thinking I'm pretty sure viewing violent content isn't going to change how I feel about violence. The fact of the matter is, and I wish it wasn't so, violent movies and video games glorify violence. Watching James Bond shoot bad guys makes most people see guns in a more positive light. It's just how the brain works.
     In conclusion I encourage people to rethink justifying violence in order to protect themselves. I realize that causing physical harm on someone is evolutionary and part of our human nature. I just hope that we can evolve from this form of dealing with problems and be more understanding of others.

Monday, December 29, 2014

I Don't Feel Safe

     As some of you may know, based on my posts, I am Agnostic. Agnostic meaning: a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God or of anything beyond material phenomena; a person who claims neither faith nor disbelief in God. This is where I'm at in my spiritual journey right now. Through my life experiences, people I've met, stories I've heard, I have come to this alternative American way of thinking. Amurricca... It is in fact a Christian nation. You never find an atheist politician. According to the Huffington Post, 49% of Americans and 73% of Conservative Americans would be unhappy if their family member married an atheist, making nonbelievers one of the most discriminated groups in the country.
     All that being said you might understand why I don't feel safe sharing my opinions about God to people. I can do it over the internet because I don't feel the immediate backlash from it. There have been times when people asked me if I'm a Christian and I don't know how to answer them. I tend to just tell them what they want to hear without being completely dishonest with them such as saying, "I was raised Mennonite and I attend a Mennonite church." And there have been times when I WAS completely honest with them and immediately regretted it, feeling a strong sense of judgement. People raised in faith tend to never even consider the possibility that other ways of life can be just as fulfilling.
     But I understand their beliefs and I respect them. If you really believe in Hell and people who don't believe in God will go there when they die then of course you are going to try to get them to believe like you. Or even if you're a Christian who doesn't believe in the literal definition of Hell... You believe that through faith and a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is the only way to real happiness you're going to want that for others too. The judgment that stems out of religion does in fact come from love. I really do get it. It's like a line from one of the songs that I wrote and I quote, "Deceived in his childhood, I know it's his right, but still we are hurt by the forgivable fight..."
     The fact that nonbelievers feel unsafe to share their opinions is unfair. We have to put up with hearing theists share what they think all the time. At work especially, in rural Lancaster County, a lot of my coworkers are openly Conservative Christians. And I love them dearly but if I really shared what I thought about God they may not think of me as highly. I urge everybody to be open to other opinions. I think if there is a God she would understand why I have my doubts about her.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

"The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies" Review

     Last night I had the pleasure of seeing the third and final Hobbit movie. It officially came out in theaters today but there were screenings in select theaters last night and Penn Cinema was one of the lucky ones. If you know me I am a huge fan of the Lord of the Rings movies... Best movies ever made! So as you can imagine I was extremely excited when I heard they were making The Hobbit. I already reviewed the first Hobbit movie so I won't talk too much about my overall thoughts on these movies but basically I was pretty disappointed. The Hobbit trilogy did not live up to my expectations. That being said "The Battle of the Five Armies" was by far the best out of the three.
     This movie picks up where we left off in "The Desolation of Smaug." The great dragon is destroying Laketown with his breath of fire. Thankfully this scene doesn't last too long and (spoiler alert) the dragon is killed by Bard pretty early on in the movie and isn't mentioned again... Poor Benedict Cumberbatch. Honestly though I thought the dragon scene in the last movie was overrated. Maybe it's because when I think of dragons I think of cheesy children's stories that don't belong in a Tolkein movie.
     So much like the final LOTR movie The Hobbit went out with a bang, packed with epic battles where tens of thousands of soldiers armed with swords, axes, and bows marched against countless orcs, goblins, and trolls. This is what I'm talking about! Classic good vs. evil showdown. Just as much eye candy as the battle of helms deep, pelennor fields, the black gate, etc. You get what I'm talking about. Okay so the battle only lasts like one page in the book and they decided to base the whole movie off of it. Frankly I don't really care. It felt like a Lord of the Rings movie.
     Unlike the previous two films this one used a lot more on-location shooting rather than filming up against green screen in a studio. I could actually tell they were in New Zealand. The previous two Hobbit movies just looked really fake and cartoony. That takes away from the movie. Yes there was some of that in this movie too but a lot less.
     Now let me talk about what I didn't like about the movie. The scenes in which one of our heroes went up against one of the main villains dragged on for far too long. Okay we get it, Legolas is a bad-ass and can do some sweet moves. We saw that in LOTR. Remember when he took down that oliphant in Return of the King? It was pretty over the top and ridiculous but we enjoyed the moment. That took maybe 20 seconds of our time at the most. In this movie whenever a hero fought a main villain it would last like 20 minutes, or so it seemed. Remember when Aragorn fought Lurtz in the Fellowship of the Ring after Lurtz killed Boromir? That hero/villain fight scene lasted maybe a minute and it accomplished what needed to be addressed to us as an audience. Same with when Eowyn fought the witch king. I could go on and on. There were several hero/villain fight scenes in "The Battle of the Five Armies" that just went on forever. Worst part of the movie.
     "The Battle of the Five Armies" is the shortest of all six Middle Earth movies with a run time of about 2 hrs and 20 min. A lot of people have and continue to complain about how they made The Hobbit into three movies while each Lord of the Rings book was only one. Even I thought it was ridiculous when I first heard the news. In fact I had the top comment on IMDB's article about it with over 2,000 likes. I quoted a line from Bilbo in The Fellowship of the Ring saying, "I feel stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread." I feel bad about that because there's a good chance Peter Jackson himself saw the comment. I have changed my mind now. I've read The Hobbit and I can't imagine it being crammed into one movie. Now I haven't read any of The Lord of the Rings so I'm not sure how they did it with them. But from a psychology perspective I think people get hung on the fact that they made it into three movies because they think it's to make more money and so they refuse to like them.
     Go see this movie! Don't go see it if you haven't seen the previous two though. You might be a little lost. My point of this review isn't to convince you to see it because if you saw the other two you're going to see it anyway just to finish it off. These were just my thoughts on it and to convince you that if you disagree with them you are wrong! Just kidding but I would like to know what how you felt about it in comparison to the other two. I give "The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies" a B+.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Let's Talk Feminism

     A war is going on. It is the war on sexism. Feminists everywhere are trying to take away our rights as men to be masculine and superior over women. This has to stop!
     Of course I am being sarcastic. I suppose the reason why people don't want to call themselves a feminist is the same reason I'm not comfortable calling myself an atheist. I have mostly the same beliefs (or lack of) as an atheist but the presumptions and the discriminations that come for people with that title in this country are atrocious. It is likely that a lot of people who don't call themselves a feminist still affirm the same principles the feminist movement stands for. That's one theory I have.
     But I do think a lot has to change. We need to rethink gender roles. We've all been to dinner parties and family gatherings. Ever notice what happens when guests start to arrive? From my experience I see all the guests who are women offer to help in the kitchen. There's always something for them to do, while the men just sit back and relax, conversing with one another. Don't deny that doesn't happen. I've always noticed it and took advantage of my male privilege but lately it's really starting to piss me off. The last couple times I've offered to help. Oh but gender roles... Gender roles!! Men are awful in the kitchen, we can't cook! We're not wired that way... While it's true I am pretty bad at cooking but maybe it's because I was programed to think that men aren't supposed to be good at it.
     I really hate the whole masculinity thing. My whole life I have been a victim to all of the pressures of what it means to be a man. I used to cry a lot when I was a kid and was bullied for it, which is why I can't really cry anymore. A man has to be tough, not feel pain. No complaining about the cold! A man doesn't drink fruity alcoholic beverages. He drinks beer, whisky, or rum. A man has to work out and have a great body. He must shave or wax his body hair, wait that's ironic. A man watches sports. A man is confident and thinks highly of himself. These are all stereotypes, I know. My point is that I don't want to be defined by our society's stance on what it means to be a man... Because frankly, I don't really relate to any of those, especially the alcoholic beverage one. I like me some sweet and tasty booze! If you've ever watched the show "How I Met Your Mother" I identify a lot with the character Marshall. We're like the same person.
     This blog post comes from the perspective of a male feminist. There are many reasons why a female should want to be a feminist too, but I'm sure you're all tire of hearing them lately. It's a trending debate these days. Just watch Emma Watson's speech on the topic explaining why feminism is misunderstood by most people.