I have a love-hate relationship with the church. On one hand it's a great way to build a good community and make many friendships. On the other hand too much of that is not a healthy habit to get into. If your church friends are your only friends then that is segregation. Sure, we all like to hang out with people that share our same interests and beliefs but it is good to have diversity too. Without diversity we cannot grow.
So why do I go to church, you ask? I'm not sure why I currently still go. I don't really feel the community at the church I attend, the songs are unfamiliar, and I am NOT Presbyterian. Honestly, I really miss my church back home in PA. Did you know that when you do a google image search for Mennonite Church, my home church James Street Mennonite, is one of the first pictures to come up? But that picture to the right is of the church I attend now.
I guess I already covered the community part of going to church. Poor organizing skills on my part. So I love to sing. People might not think that since I pretty much never sing these days... Why? I guess I have this fear that people (aka my housemates) will get tired of hearing me all the time. I grew up around friends that sing absolutely all the time. Everywhere they go, and ESPECIALLY at home. And no matter how talented someone is at singing it gets old pretty fast. I don't want people to get annoyed at me like that. Believe me, I want to sing all the time. I also fear people will think that I think people should hear me sing. Sort of a narcissistic thing. That feeling sort of comes across when others burst out singing. So this applies to the whole church thing because that's one place I can sing and not feel judged because everybody else is singing. But the church I am attending rarely does songs I know and so I can't really sing along that well.
I was born and raised Mennonite. (that is my home church's sanctuary on the left) And although I sometimes question God and the Bible like a damned heretic, the Mennonite church will always be close to my heart. I miss their songs, and I miss their beliefs on peace and love. But there are no Mennonite churches that are relatively close. I guess for now First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood will have to do, until I can afford my own car.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
I think I'm gonna stop writing blogs for a while. It's frustrating taking the time to put my thoughts into words and then having people just bash my opinions and say I'm wrong. I mean I know we can't all agree on the same things but I mean it's still frustrating. I like to get at least SOME people changing their minds about things and agreeing with me.